galantxter

salamat sa unlimitxt. si rachie nga pala ang nagbigay ng idea para sa title. salamat din.
================================

Der r 3 gr8 thngs n ds w0rld, d 1st thng is 4 u 2 luv sum1, d 2nd gr8st thng is 4 sum1 2 luv u, n d 3rd is 4 d 1st n 2nd to happen at the same time.

==========

Pag ntgpuan mo na ang pag-ibig...itago mo, alagaan, gwn mong totoo, gwn mo ang tama,
kc sa PAG-IBIG, makaka LOAN ka ng BAHAY AT LUPA!

==========

JUAN at PEDRO SA MATH CLASS:
teacher: JUAN, 1+3?
Juan: 4, maam
teacher: PEDRO, 3+1?
Pedro: ayun, ayun! pgmhrap sakin na.. FAVORITISM!!!

==========

i mäY nt teL u hw spcL ü r
i mäY nt b äbLe 2 rEäch ü cz wE bötH hv tiNgS 2 cRe öF
bt nSpyt öF öL ü knw üR Söm1.. im wiLinG 2 kiP 4 d reSt öF my LyF!

==========

Da gReAteSt cHaLLeNgE iN oUr LivEs iS tO fiNd sOmEoNe wHo KnOwS yOuR fAuLts And wEakNeSsEs bUt StiLL wiLLinG tO eMbrAce YoU w/ sO mUcH LoVe aNd W/o DoUbt.

==========

_Smday
_weL
_b
_gtng older.
_Smday
_uL
_Luv & mrry
_sm1.
_Smday
_uR
_whòLÉ Lyf
_wL b
_c0mpLtLy
_dfrnt
_xcpt
_dat
_i hop
_smday
_ud
_stL bE..
_my frnd..ü

==========

(sa misa)
PARI:kng sinoman ang tamaan ng bola na 'to ay syang pnaka makasalanan.
(inicha ang bola,tumalbog pabalik sa knya)
PARI: O! Praktis lng un ah! Ulet!

==========

INA: Anak! Dumudugo daliri m0! Akina't ccpcpin q dali! Tsup!Tsup! Ayan,wla n. Sn kb nsugat anak?
ANAK: Wla po q sugat.Pnatay q lng po mga garapata ni browny!Ü

==========

MnSn mhiraP tlgA mGmhal kc
mNsan iiyAk k dahil mahal m sya...
peRo cnAktn ka nyA! mAiicp mo 2loy..

Bkt nga b my panyo s panty c DARNA?

==========

bakit "S" ang nasa costume ni superman?

hehe.. wla n kcng medium! Pansinin mo fit! Dba noh?!

==========

Bf:n0od tau sine!
Gf:D ka kiss?
Bf:hinde!
Gf:Dk hipo?
Bf:hindi n0h!
Gf:hwak bo0bs?
Bf:hindi rn!
Gf:eh finger?
Bf:lal0ng hindi!
Gf:tangina m0 man0od k mgisa!

==========

I cNt imgine hw da 2 of uS stRtd 2 knw ech othR,
oL i knw S thR's smting n u tht mkeS me feL fyn!
sO ihOp uL nVr chnge & b wat u R whOm i'v knwn fRm d stRt!

==========

Hi, keep texting me & win exciting prizes.
3rd prize: lots of love
2nd prize: life time frndship
1st prize: free stay in my heart.
PR0M0 VALID UNTIL I'M ALIVE.

==========

SON: Dad dad, na experience ko na ang blow job!
DAD: Shhh, marinig ng Mama mo. Ano, enjoy ka naman anak?
SON: Oo dad, enjoy ako. Pati nga itlog nya sinubo ko!

==========

As0 k0 bryt masyad0, tanungin m0 2+2 kah0l kaagad ng 4. Nlaman neyb0r namin Tnan0ng 2mill0n + 2mill0n hanggang ngay0n kah0l p ng kah0l payat na cya. Pls. pray..

==========

if i wer Gven D chance n mksma k 4 jz 1nyt d aQ m22Log!
iL jz stAre at u & wtch u SLip hoLd ur hand, whiLe saying...

" HaNep s TuLo ng LaWay a! prang FALLS! "

==========

Gathered in a large hall,an angel asked us 2 write down our sins b4 goin 2 heaven,b4 i cud start writing mine,i heard u shouting:"EXTRA PAPER PLEASE.."

==========

Bein a frnd s a hard job.
U wrk 24hrs a day w/o pay smtyms unaprciatd.
Bt i stl wnt 2b ur frnd coz dats d nly job dt mkes me fil d rchest prsn n d wrld..

==========

Mdlas kpg ang tao ngda2sal hmhiling..
Gs2 ko n2
gs2 nyan
sna my gn2
sna my gnyn..
D ko cla maccc
D p kc nla ikw nkkila2,

d sna ang dsal nlng nla "Salamat.."

==========

Sa buhay natn maraming pagsubok
may ulan
at mayroon dlng unos
kaya tandaan mo kaibgan..

PAYONG dalin m wg KAPOTE!
ANO KA GRADE 2?!

==========

Lumndol ng mlkas n0on..
Ngkgulo ang lhat at ngpanic..
Sumigaw ang sng la2ke

"KATAPUSAN NA KATAPUSAN NA".

Sumagot ang 1png l2ke..

"BOBO AKINSE PLNG"

==========

ung bata ako,2wing my kasal lgi ako tnu2kso nLa Lolo't Lola "uuy, cya n susunod.."
2migil lng cla nung my ililibing at tnukso ko cLa ng "uuy, siLa n susunod"

==========

Söméb0dy asked me..
2 dscribe Y_0_U in 2 words..
they xpected me 2 answer d words "THE BEST"
but i didnt!
i jst simply smiled & said:
"n0thiNg c0mpArEs!

==========

In dis lyf we don't nid a certain numbr of friends,we only nid friends hu r CERTAIN 2 make a dference when lyf seem too dfcult 2 hndle.Thank u for being one!

==========

Try this, sobrng nkkaaliw!ü
thnk of any 2-dgit #
tke d 1st dgit
x2
+7
-5
den add it 2d 2nd dgit.
Now.. Close ur eyes..
Ang dilim nOh?

==========

someone
misses ü
needs ü
worries about ü
lonely w/o ü
guess who?

ba! MALAY KO!
basta ako, gus2 lang kita... MAIS2RBO!!!

==========

By any measure, you are special! GOD made you one such person. Dont ever ever ever change anything about you, except your UNDERWEAR !! Everyday yan!

==========

BOY: Pwede pkagat sa dede mo?
GiRL: Ayoko!
BOY: Bigyan kta 1M
GiRL: Ok, bilisan mo..
(Boy hinimas, dinede, piniga)
GiRL: Ba't di mo kinagat?
BOY: Mahal!

==========

F i hav d chance 2 shape destiny w/ d palm f my hands and mold d past w/ perfection il gladly do. il C 2 it dat in d nir future il end up no 1else but w/ YOU!

==========

aNg fRnDsH¡p pRnG kNtA pwDnG maLaOs, mkL¡mUtAn @ mpL¡tAn! pRo aNg pAgkA2¡Ba nLa aNg fRnDsH¡P HnD n¡Re2qUeSt, d¡ pwD gw¡Ng soLo @ HnD kYaNg iRev¡vE nG ¡bA!

==========

drs a lot mor dat i mis 'bout u..its not jst d moments we spent, d lafs we had..cnt b sure how mch m missin' u but ol i cn say is.. " nkkpnibgo pag wala ka."

==========

dnt ever get tyrd of dis lyf.. its nt gna mater if u fol down mny tyms.rmmber dt each tym u fol,i wont let u hit d ground..trust me,iL alwys b around.

==========

D secret of life isn't just 2 live but 2 have sumthing worthwyl 2 live for.coz we only live once, but f we live ryt, 1 lyf tym is enuf!

==========

ang KbGaN PRaNg "UNAN"
aNJaN KpG KLaNGaN
pWdE m0 iYaKaN
PWDe M YaKaPiN
KYa Lgi m0 Ta2NDaaN
KuNg KLaNGaN m Ng KBGaN
my tinda akoNg-UNAN!
bili n!

==========

d iDeal prs0n g0es h0m erly,
d 2mtaMbay,
d rn layAs,
d nGy0y0si,
d uMiin0m,
d mHilig s giMiks,
at p0rMaL..
in sh0rt..

hNd tAu un..
aStig tau eh

==========

LOLO: Halika nga,lumapit ka!
APO:Bkt po?
LOLO: Basta lumapit ka dito!
APO: (inis) Eh, Bkit nga po?!
LOLO:(pabulong) Buhatin mo ko! Ipatong mo ko sa lola mo!

==========

dey say dat LOVE is d switest afecti0n...
Inspird by d eyes,
spken by d lips,
ddc8td by d hart,
transmtd 2 d soul,
and proven in BED!
Agree ka ba?!?

==========

If Only i had the power to turn back time..
If only i could read your mind...

wala lng.. astig db?!

tas mrunong pa rw ako lumipad! oh yeah..c0oL!

==========

We can never be happy with something that was wrong.
But if somewhere along the way what was wrong has made us happy then it must have been right all along.

==========

3 m0nkeys escaped frm z00,
d 1st ws caught wtchng tv,
d 2nd ws caught n d prk
& d 3rd..

hnd po ikw!

bt b lgi mu nlang iniicp na unggoy k? Wg gnun!

==========

Ang pgka2ibiGan pRng WIWI s sh0rts.
Lht nkKkita nun pR0 IKAW lng ang nkKdma ng INIT n2.
THANK Ü!
dhl isa kng WIWI s aking sh0rt!

==========

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:
:-: HAPPY :-:
:-: BIRTHDAY! :-:
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

NaSURPRISE ka ba??? Dapat lang!! Di mo naman B-day e!! He..He..He!

==========

Lyf is a 1way stReet..
n0 mattR wat 0pti0ns u chuz n0ne of dEm leads bAck
sO enjoy evry m0ment of uR Lyf coZ n0ne of dEm wil hApen d same way agaiN...

==========

Kkaiba n tlg tao ngaun!
ns lo0b ako ng church knna,
ns hrp ko ang 1 bbae
at d midle of d mas she lightz a cgaret
nash0ck ak0!
ntpon ko 2loy ung redhorse ko!!

==========

ang luv prng y0si,
kht lam m mkkskit cge prn s pghit2
lge cnsbi n ttglan na pro pg anjn na, d na mpglan!
at mdlas pg nps0bra, nhi2rpn ka ng..
huminga..

holyweek movie marathon

stigmata

dr. reston: problems with a significant other?
frankie: yeah.
dr. reston: what kind of problems?
frankie: I'm not very significant.

dr. reston: do you have any stress at work?
frankie: i cut hair.

frankie: hey, you know what's scarier than not believing in god? believing in him. i mean, really believing in him. it's a fucking terrifying thought.

frankie: the kingdom of god is within you and all around you. it is not within buildings of wood or stone. split a piece of wood and you will find me. look beneath a stone and i am there.
==========

jesus of nazareth

pontius pilate: do you realize i have the power to release you or have you crucified?
jesus christ: you wouldn't have had that power over me if it hadn't been given to you from above.

(discussing the idea of jesus' being born in a stable)
balthazar: and yet, i see the justice of it.
gaspar: not in glory, but in humility.

jesus christ: destroy this temple, and in three days i will make it rise again.
zerah: it took centuries to build this temple. do you think you can build it again in three days?
jesus christ: you have said it, but you have not understood.
zerah: [indignant] rabbi, i understand better than you think.

herod antipas: and we go on sinning. and very pleasant it is, too.
==========

passion of the christ

jesus: judas... you betray the son of man with a kiss?

jesus: see, mother, i make all things new.

caiphas: tell us, are you the messiah? the son of the living god?
jesus: i am...

mary: why is this night different from every other night?

simon: remember that i am an innocent man, forced to carry the cross of a condemned man!

mary: flesh of my flesh... heart of my heart... my son, let me die with you.

pontius pilate: i do not want an uprising.
abenader: there already is an uprising!

jesus: my heart is ready.

mary: my son... when, where, how... will you choose to be delivered of this?

title card: he was wounded for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities; by his wounds we are healed. isaiah 53; 700 b.c.

jesus: peter. you could not watch even one hour with me?

jesus: peter! put it down! those who live by the sword shall die by the sword.

pontius pilate: what is truth, claudia? do you hear it, recognize it when it is spoken?
claudia procles: yes, i do. don't you?
pontius pilate: how? can you tell me?
claudia procles: if you will not hear the truth, no one can tell you.
pontius pilate: truth... do you want to know what my truth is, claudia? i've been putting down rebellions in this rotten outpost for eleven years. if i don't condemn this man i know caiphas will start a rebellion. if i do condemn him, then his followers may. either way, there will be bloodshed. caeser has warned me, claudia. warned me twice. he swore that the next time the blood would be mine. that is my truth!

caiphas: they say you're a king. where is this kingdom of yours? What line of kings do you descend from? speak up! you're just the son of some obscure carpenter, no? some say you're elijah, but he was carried off to heaven in a chariot! why don't you say something? you've been brought here as a blasphemer! what do you say to that? defend yourself.
jesus: i have spoken openly to everyone. i've taught in the temple where we all gathered. ask those who have heard what I have to say.
temple guard: is that how you address the high priest? with arrogance?
[the temple guard strikes jesus with authority]
jesus: if i have spoken evil, tell me what evil i have said. but if not, why do you hit me?
==========

monsters, inc.

mike: roz, my tender, oozing blossom, you're looking fabulous today. is that a new haircut? tell me it's a new haircut. it's got to be a new haircut. new makeup? you had a lift? you had a tuck? you had something? something has been inserted in in you that makes you look like... listen, i need a favor. randall was working late last night out on the scare floor. i really need the key to the door he was using.

henry j. waternoose: kids these days. they just don't get scared like they used to.

randall: say hello to the scream extractor.
mike: hello. hey, where are you going? c'mon, we'll talk! we'll have a latte!

mike: psst, fungus. fungus, you like cars? because i got a really nice car. you let me go, i'll give you... a ride... in the car.
fungus: i'm sorry, wazowski, but randall said i'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.

mike: i'm telling you, big daddy. you're gonna be seeing this face on tv more often.
sulley: yeah, like on "monstropolis' most wanted"?
mike: ha, ha, ha. you've been jealous of my good looks since the fourth grade, pal.

randall: where is it, you little one-eyed cretin?
mike: okay, first of all, it's "cree-tin". if you're going to threaten me, do it properly. second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping me is going to help you cheat your way to the top.
randall: [chuckles evilly] you still think this is about that stupid scare record?
mike: well... i did. right up until you... chuckled... like that... and now i'm thinking i should just get out of here.

randall: okay, i think i know how to make this all go away. what happens when the whistle blows in five minutes?
mike: i get a time out?
randall: everyone goes to lunch! which means the scare floor will be...
mike: ...painted?
randall: empty! it'll be empty, you idiot! see that clock? when the big hand is pointing up...
[forces mike's arm up]
randall: and the little hand is pointing up...
[forces the other arm up]
randall: the door will be in my station. but when the big hand is pointing down...
[forces mike's arm down]
randall: the door will be gone. you have until then to put the kid back. get the picture?

[mike and sulley watch a commercial featuring them, but mike is covered over by the monsters inc. logo]
mike: i can't believe it...
sulley: oh, mike...
mike: i was on tv. ha. did you see me? i'm a natural.

[mike and sulley at a crosswalk next to a giant monster]
sulley: hey, ted! good morning!
[ted clucks; light changes and they cross]
sulley: see that, mikey? ted's walking to work.
mike: big deal. guy takes five steps and he's there.

mike: oh, schmootsie-poo?
celia: googlie bear.

[mike complains to sulley about randall]
mike: one of these days i am really... going to let you teach that guy a lesson.

celia: oh, michael, i've had a lot of birthdays - well, not a lot of birthdays but this is the best birthday ever.
[mike stares lovingly at her]
celia: what are you looking at?
mike: i was just thinking about the first time I laid eye on you, how pretty you looked.
celia: [shyly] stop it.
mike: your hair was shorter then.
celia: mm-hmm. i'm thinking about getting it cut.
[the snakes in celia's hair squeal with fear]
mike: no-no, i like it this length.
[the snakes sigh in relief]
mike: i like everything about you. just the other day someone asked me who i thought the most beautiful was in all of monstropolis. you know what i said?
celia: what did you say?
mike: i said...
[just then, sulley's face appears in the window behind celia]
mike: sulley?
celia: sulley?

mike: sulley, what are we doing?
sulley: we have to get boo's door and find a station.
mike: what a plan. simple, yet insane.

mike: i think i have a plan here: using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild.
sulley: spoons?
mike: that's it, i'm out of ideas. we're closed. hot air balloon? too expensive. giant slingshot? too conspicuous. enormous wooden horse? too Greek.

mike: follow the sultry sound of my voice

sulley: what was that?
mike wazowski: i have no idea. but it would be a really good idea if it didn't do it again.

tv anchorman: if witnesses are to be believed, there has been a child security breach for the first time in monster history.
cda agent: we can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a human child here tonight.
witness #1: well the kid flew right over me and blasted a car with its laser vision.
witness #2: i tried to get away from it, but he picked me up with his mind powers and shook me like a doll.
witness #3: [has many eyes] it's true! i saw the whole thing!
professor on tv: it is my professional opinion that now it's the time to *panic*!

mike: [as the scream extractor approaches] what is that thing? what is that thing? hey, hey, hey, that thing is moving. i don't like big, moving things that are moving towards me.

yeti: woah, rule number one. always... no, never go out in a blizzard.

starting line

dave's ym status message:
don't judge the boobs when it is covered.

over lunch, in a debate about the fish fillet:
me: hindi filleng-fillet 'yung tinik sa fish fillet nila.

advice to hopee on meeting a girl:
beck-shoot!

advice to hopee on meeting a girl part two:
slow and short thrusts lang kapag first time.

after a heated argument at the phone:
melissa: gusto ko na nga siyang dukutin sa telepono sa sobrang galit ko eh!

at pulp summerslam v:
jay of kamikazee: nasa backstage nga pala si carlos agassi, inuupakan namin.

profound thoughts from our new indian consultant:
1. he is only vegetarian when he is in their house. (talking about our ex-indian consultant)
2. in saudi, it's better to be in jail than to be outside.
3. after vegetarian dinner, every meat will be fine.

during yosi break:
me: what? wendy's? here in makati?
ram: no, i said it's kinda windy here.

pre-vinna's wedding conversation:
melissa: bukas ba sa kasal ni vinna, eh magdadala ko nang maraming tissue para sa'yo?
melissa (again): kaya mo ba 'ko sinasama eh para meron kang shoulder to cry on?

on a heated argument with a taxi driver:
driver: sabi niyo kanina santolan!
me: santolan mrt po.
driver: sana, santolan edsa sinabi niyo, naintindihan ko pa. babalik tuloy tayo.
melissa: at least, nalibot natin ang pasig.

on a drinking session with my newly grad soldier friend:
buddy: alam mo 'yang training niyo sa sundalo, parang training lang sa rotc. (drunk)
me: alam mo 'yang training niyo sa sundalo, parang training lang sa boy scout. (very drunk)

talking about how behave his children were:
my wife's cousin: kaya maganda at matino iyan, hindi ko pinakain nang dalawang araw.

advice on how to treat children:
my wife's cousin: kapag may problema ka pa din, gutumin mo nang dalawang araw.

overheard from a foreigner at the starbucks while talking to someone on his cellphone:
foreigner: no, i mean beaches, i like swimming on beaches.
(i therefore conclude that the other person on the line thought that the foreigner is looking for "bitches".)

upon learning that my baby can do the rollover:
sol: baka nakita sa tatay kaya natuto ng dumapa.

seminar on basic banking:
gernel: para maburiri natin ng todo.
gernel: parang tahing-benta. (rtw)
gernel: 'di ko kaya sa likod, sa harap lang.
someone: early withdrawal
someone: sino nag-deposit?
gernel: 'pag teller, pasok lang ng pasok.
me: no name dropping.
gernel: sa branch, ang kain eh parang jingle lang.

on inserting two id card into a single id card holder:
sol: 'pag may ilaw mga 5 minutes maipapasok, pag wala, dalawang palakpak lang.

overheard from a lady on a cellphone at starbucks:
lady: andito kami sa pacific star bucks (merging starbucks and pacific star)

comments at the elevator from two claudine baretto fan (or critic):
bank employee: ang arte-arte niya naman umarte...

overheard while I'm trapped in an elevator:
technician: may na-trap po ba diyan?
technician: subukan ninyong buksan iyong pinto, both doors. iyong right hand mo sa left door, 'yung left hand mo sa right door.
one friend at the other side of the elevator: ano last word mo?
one friend at the other side of the elevator: may gusto ka ba diyan sa loob?
one friend at the other side of the elevator: may ipagbibilin ka ba?
me: puwede ba magyosi dito?

during breakfast:
me: ikaw ba 'yung nasa right side ng elevator kahapon paglabas ko?
sol: Itanong mo na lang sa akin kung nakita kita.
me: nakita mo 'ko?
sol: oo
me: ok

reason for being absent:
eric: pare nagpa-check ako ng potassium level ko

word for the day:
hopee: hilahod

a friend's response whenever I asked her to treat me:
ebtg: nasaan ako? sino kang kausap ko?