starting line

dave's ym status message:
don't judge the boobs when it is covered.

over lunch, in a debate about the fish fillet:
me: hindi filleng-fillet 'yung tinik sa fish fillet nila.

advice to hopee on meeting a girl:
beck-shoot!

advice to hopee on meeting a girl part two:
slow and short thrusts lang kapag first time.

after a heated argument at the phone:
melissa: gusto ko na nga siyang dukutin sa telepono sa sobrang galit ko eh!

at pulp summerslam v:
jay of kamikazee: nasa backstage nga pala si carlos agassi, inuupakan namin.

profound thoughts from our new indian consultant:
1. he is only vegetarian when he is in their house. (talking about our ex-indian consultant)
2. in saudi, it's better to be in jail than to be outside.
3. after vegetarian dinner, every meat will be fine.

during yosi break:
me: what? wendy's? here in makati?
ram: no, i said it's kinda windy here.

pre-vinna's wedding conversation:
melissa: bukas ba sa kasal ni vinna, eh magdadala ko nang maraming tissue para sa'yo?
melissa (again): kaya mo ba 'ko sinasama eh para meron kang shoulder to cry on?

on a heated argument with a taxi driver:
driver: sabi niyo kanina santolan!
me: santolan mrt po.
driver: sana, santolan edsa sinabi niyo, naintindihan ko pa. babalik tuloy tayo.
melissa: at least, nalibot natin ang pasig.

on a drinking session with my newly grad soldier friend:
buddy: alam mo 'yang training niyo sa sundalo, parang training lang sa rotc. (drunk)
me: alam mo 'yang training niyo sa sundalo, parang training lang sa boy scout. (very drunk)

talking about how behave his children were:
my wife's cousin: kaya maganda at matino iyan, hindi ko pinakain nang dalawang araw.

advice on how to treat children:
my wife's cousin: kapag may problema ka pa din, gutumin mo nang dalawang araw.

overheard from a foreigner at the starbucks while talking to someone on his cellphone:
foreigner: no, i mean beaches, i like swimming on beaches.
(i therefore conclude that the other person on the line thought that the foreigner is looking for "bitches".)

upon learning that my baby can do the rollover:
sol: baka nakita sa tatay kaya natuto ng dumapa.

seminar on basic banking:
gernel: para maburiri natin ng todo.
gernel: parang tahing-benta. (rtw)
gernel: 'di ko kaya sa likod, sa harap lang.
someone: early withdrawal
someone: sino nag-deposit?
gernel: 'pag teller, pasok lang ng pasok.
me: no name dropping.
gernel: sa branch, ang kain eh parang jingle lang.

on inserting two id card into a single id card holder:
sol: 'pag may ilaw mga 5 minutes maipapasok, pag wala, dalawang palakpak lang.

overheard from a lady on a cellphone at starbucks:
lady: andito kami sa pacific star bucks (merging starbucks and pacific star)

comments at the elevator from two claudine baretto fan (or critic):
bank employee: ang arte-arte niya naman umarte...

overheard while I'm trapped in an elevator:
technician: may na-trap po ba diyan?
technician: subukan ninyong buksan iyong pinto, both doors. iyong right hand mo sa left door, 'yung left hand mo sa right door.
one friend at the other side of the elevator: ano last word mo?
one friend at the other side of the elevator: may gusto ka ba diyan sa loob?
one friend at the other side of the elevator: may ipagbibilin ka ba?
me: puwede ba magyosi dito?

during breakfast:
me: ikaw ba 'yung nasa right side ng elevator kahapon paglabas ko?
sol: Itanong mo na lang sa akin kung nakita kita.
me: nakita mo 'ko?
sol: oo
me: ok

reason for being absent:
eric: pare nagpa-check ako ng potassium level ko

word for the day:
hopee: hilahod

a friend's response whenever I asked her to treat me:
ebtg: nasaan ako? sino kang kausap ko?